Fighting Over Looking into His Phone

My boyfriend and I just had a huge fight about me looking at his phone. we’ve been together 21 months and up until 6 months ago, he had no qualms about me knowing his pin for his phone and having a look every once and a while. all of a sudden he changed his mind and wouldn’t tell me his pin. he said it was because he didn’t want me to know his christmas plans for me. he knows my code and i feel like he reads my messages all the time. it’s difficult as he has access to my laptop which also has access to imessages and facebook without any password. I don’t feel like i would want to enable a password/log out everytime as I have nothing to hide. Now he says he’d only give me his pin if i gave him my pin to my diary, which is a completely different thing, and something he knows i would never do.

phonetoday he was looking through my photos on my phone, and i noticed he left his phone unlocked and unattended. before he realised, i took it and went to the bathroom, locking the door. he realised and banged so hard on the door shouting and threatening to delete stuff off my phone. to be honest i didn’t find much on his phone, but didn’t look that hard. i was just shocked by his reaction. i came out and said he should leave, and told him to take all the stuff he leaves in my flat back. i tried to talk to him about it, but he kept joking around, and didn’t take me seriously. i told him if he didn’t want to, then he should leave and not come back (ie lets break up – I didn’t know how else to make him take me seriously! i know it’s immature, but he wouldn’t talk at all!). his response was that this is just a silly fight and i should get over it and he’ll call me later.

the fact that he used to be so open about his phone worries me as i don’t understand things would change. it’s just been bothering me for so long that it’s finally just come to a head. i know the general consensus on here is that phones are private, but it’s not fair that it seems to be one rule for me and another for him…



May 4th, 2015 by